booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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