There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
