I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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