laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
