it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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