I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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