the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
