I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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