my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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