i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
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Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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