dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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