i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
