i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
