Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
