I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
