Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
