it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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