Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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