woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize