what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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