Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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