What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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