My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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