I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just forgot I was standing up.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
