i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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