I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize