I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
love makes seman taste better
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!