do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize