I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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