For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it's like iHOP with fire
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
