mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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