Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
