omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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