I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sext me about skeletons
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
