dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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