id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
