Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize