shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize