That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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