My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize