I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
