tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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