ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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