why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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