Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
