I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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