My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
