At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
