Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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