i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
