Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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