I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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