He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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