you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
