people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
