Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
