Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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