That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize